Okay, here's the scene... fade in on a garage perched on a teeny-tiny asteroid orbiting a dead sun [RISING!!! * excuse me *], where the mighty souls of Charnel's house band Gravitar are wailing away, beating their instruments into melted puddles of screaming, runny lead. As they play, they occasionally stop long enough to briefly recover from the ear-shattering, bone-jarring wall of noise they tend to generate; it is during these short interruptions that the Ghost of Dead Angel, beamed in remote via undersea satellite, asks them a lot of stupid questions, which they answer as only Gravitar can. So... let the demolition BEGIN....
THE CAST:
GRAVITAR: Geoff Walker, Eric Cook, Harold Richardson
SOUND DEMON: John D'Agostini
GHOST: (DA)
DA: The obvious -- how, when, where, why did Gravitar come together?
ERIC: Okay.."How, when where, why?"
GEOFF: Well, I guess that would have to start with you guys, since I wasn't here when you guys started.
HAROLD: Well..
ERIC: Yeah, it wasn't Gravitar before Geoff joined.
GEOFF: So look, they knew each other.
ERIC: Well Harold and I played together in a bunch of bands together for a long time, and then we got Geoff.
GEOFF: Harold kept bugging me....So what is it, it's been like 2 years now? Let's... let's go by the book. The obvious -- how, when where, why. Where: Ann Arbor, for lack of a better place. When: 2 years ago. Why: ...
ERIC: Why?
GEOFF: Why: Cause we couldn't count on anybody else, seemed like; at least that was my impression.
ERIC: How did we get Geoff?
GEOFF: Harold came into Schoolkid's and kept saying, "Hey man, you play an instrument, you sing, don't you?"
HAROLD: Yeah, something like that. Well, the first time I ran into Geoff, buying records and like that, I mentioned the band stuff, and he said "Oh yeah, I've heard of you guys", and I was like "No way." [laughs] I knew you couldn't have heard of us, because we really didn't do much. But then...
GEOFF: Is that what I said? Did I tell you I'd heard of you?
HAROLD: Yeah!
GEOFF: Aw, I was lying. That was a bald faced lie. [laughter]
HAROLD: Yeah, but you seemed really energetic, and you wanted to do it, so I kept bugging you about it. You said, "Well, I play bass..." and it was, "Well, we're looking for a singer, though. Do you sing, would you want to sing?", and you were, "Well, let me play bass." But then, then one day [laughs], you came up to me, and said "yeah, I'll do it, I'll sing", and we went over to John's.
GEOFF: Yeah, that's right. And I was with John, who is our production engineer, and our good friend, and uh...our fourth Beatle.
[coincidentally, John arrives at this point]
GEOFF: So that's sort of where I came in...and sort of where John didn't, because he was in another band and working, but we still love him, because he's our engineer and whatnot. We should tell him that we love him.
HAROLD: Awww...
GEOFF: Okay, question 2...Hey John, we're interviewing right now.
JOHN: Hey...Glad to hear it.
DA: What do you do when you're not being Gravitar?
GEOFF: "What do you do when you're not being Gravitar?" I quit jobs. [Laughter]
[Much mumbling from John about recording and screwdrivers here]
GEOFF: I guess the crux of the situation is that I'm always Gravitar.
JOHN: [Laughs] Night and day! He never stops!
DA: What do you like most about being in the band?
ERIC: I like playing with Geoff and Harold.
DA: What do like least about the band thing?
HAROLD: Well, uh...it's not very...well...We don't get paid very much.
GEOFF: Yeah, that's...that and we live so far away from each other.
HAROLD: I'd like it to be more of a job than a hobby.
DA: How did those exquisitely deranged vocals evolve?
ERIC: Tell us, Geoff.
GEOFF: Well, Eric, I'm glad you asked. Uh...I used to listen to records, uh, lots of 'em, and ...How did they evolve? They were just there! [Laughter] I mean, the only time I hear it when we're not playing is when I'm really mad... and that um.... What's the next question?
DA: What is more Gravitar's element, in the studio, or on the stage?
GEOFF: In front of the TV.... What?
[laughter]
HAROLD: Hey, what are you saying?
GEOFF: Nothing personal-like...
ERIC: Well, I think we're good recording, and...
GEOFF: I think we're great at recording. I think everything we've recorded is worth putting out, everything. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
[laughter, nervous glances]
[more mumbling about recording from John, tape is paused for rehearsal]
GEOFF: So where were we?
ERIC: We can pack up and do this at the same time..."In the studio or on stage"?
GEOFF: Oh. Personally, I feel more comfortable in the studio because... I don't know, just cause I can _hear_ you.
HAROLD: Yeah.
ERIC: It's the same difference as long as we can hear each other, pretty much.
GEOFF: Yeah.
ERIC: We do just as much or as little hopping around at practice as we do in front of people.
HAROLD: Yeah, we're pretty much just... .If you like hearing people playing music, that's what we're going to be doing.
DA: How much of the album is planned? Is there a predetermined structure, or is the band just grooving away?
GEOFF: Ah....
ERIC: Yeah, there's that "groove" word.
HAROLD: Yeah, we don't...
GEOFF: We've got no funk. I went to New York, got slick...
ERIC: You got what?
JOHN: Easy now, easy....
GEOFF: But I've got no groove. Um... what was the question?
ERIC: We have.. .themes? Riffs?
JOHN: Chunks?
GEOFF: Yeah, it seems like we've got chunks.
JOHN: Good chunks.
GEOFF: Yeah, themes and chunks, and then improv as opposed to studio-made.
DA: Where'd you get the unspeakably cool idea to have the endless lock-groove on the single?
ERIC: We got the idea at John's while recording it, we were listening to the end of the song, trying to figure out where to stop it, and we said, "Hey, we should ask Mason...", and Mason said "Sure."
DA: Okay, 'fess up... DEAD ANGEL wants the inside skinny on that "interesting" picture inside the CD cover....
ERIC: Ok, "interesting inside picture"..
GEOFF: Doug Nelson. [giggles]
ERIC: Harold's friend. His girlfriend took the picture, under circumstances that we don't really know, and it was on Harold's fridge for a long time... they didn't know Harold had it.
GEOFF: So we waffled for a long time, back and forth: "Should we do it? Should we ask him? He won't want us to use it. He'll be mad if he knows we have it." So we just used it.
DA: What sort of music is Gravitar listening to lately?
ERIC: We already asked these questions once, but didn't have the tape rolling.
GEOFF: [Laughs] Uh... I've been listening to the Ex with Tom Cora, and what else... Railroad Jerk, "Raise the Plow".... I like that album. And Hanatarash 3, and Borbetomegous "Asbestos Shake".
HAROLD: [Laughs]
GEOFF: There, that's what I've been listening to. Back off, man.
ERIC: [Laughs] So watch out. Uh... I've been listening to the new Slug record, and that Zeena Parkins CD I picked up the other day, and...
GEOFF: Oh -- Sun City Girls, "Boris Karloff reads Sun City Girls."
ERIC: That a good one?
GEOFF: It is, it's cool as hell.
ERIC: So Harold, what have you been listening to?
GEOFF: Bulb.
HAROLD: [laughs] Uh, Liquorball, I guess. Suicide.
GEOFF: Suicide? Really?
HAROLD: Yeah..It's good, I've never heard that stuff before.
GEOFF: Still listen to the Birthday Party a lot?
HAROLD: Yeah... [laughs] You know, I listen to a lot of stuff... I listen to a lot of radio in the cab.
GEOFF: I listen to a lot of Gravitar.
[laughter]
ERIC: You're not supposed to admit that.
GEOFF: I do though! I've that got Secured Self Storage tape in my car right now. Every time Lisa's not with me, I turn it up really loud. Every time Lisa's with me, I... uh... turn it off.
[Laughter]
HAROLD: I listen to that new Flaming Lips a lot, and that Ruins album, "Burning Stone".
GEOFF: Yeah, that's good... I listen to... Well, we could probably go on like this for a long time.
DA: What do you think about music on the internet and related junk? Where do you see it all going?
GEOFF: I think it's a good idea, it's a good question..
HAROLD: I think we should play up the computer angle...I think we could get on CNN, get a CNN promo, if we got the right person to do the story.
[laughter]
GEOFF: I just found a way to access CNN, you know... uh... on-line.
[more laughter]
ERIC: We will have access! [laughs]
DA: So where will you be headed when you climb in that tiny tour van shortly?
GEOFF: It is a tiny tour van.
ERIC: Yeah, it's a real tiny tour van. We'll be playing around here some with Slug and the Ruins, and we'll also be going out east a little bit with the Ruins, Pittsburgh and Cleveland and such....
GEOFF: Are we going out west?
ERIC: Well, I got all that stuff sent out, so....
GEOFF: So hopefully we're going out west, and south and....
ERIC: Southwest.
GEOFF: Texas! Texas, Mr. Angel. Texas! [satellite transmission temporarily suspended as Dead Angel jumps up and down]
DA: Any new music in the works?
GEOFF: Funny you should ask... at the beginning, when John shows up, that's cause we were setting up to record. Well, we already recorded.
ERIC: Yup, and we'll be doing some more recording. And we should be having a new record out... well, at least one new record out on Charnel, and we'll be trying to put on some singles and such on some other label, and see what we can do over the next few months.
GEOFF: Yeah, anyone interested in putting out a single by Gravitar....
[laughter]
HAROLD: Uh.... Uh.... Destroy the tapes...
ERIC: I'll be doing the transcribing.
[laughter]
HAROLD: So what's the next one?
DA: Consult your Magic 8-Ball and tell us what the future holds in store for Gravitar....
HAROLD: Uh... I had one, it never worked.
ERIC: Consult the magic bunny, Harold.
HAROLD: [laughs] Yeah, we do have a wish bunny, but it's pretty evil, and I don't like to wish for things with it, because....
GEOFF: Bad things happen?
HAROLD: Yeah, you might wish for something, and...
GEOFF: Last time you wished for something, didn't we get kicked out of our practice space, and the amps blew up?
HAROLD: No, no...
GEOFF: My magic 8-ball never worked either.... The little octogon never....
ERIC: Landed flat?
GEOFF: No, the solution it was in, it never landed.... What was the question?
ERIC: "What's in the future."
GEOFF: Oh, what's in the future for Gravitar? Records....
ERIC: We know about as well as your magic 8-ball worked....
GEOFF: More tours.... More records....
ERIC: Yeah, we'll keep doing all that.
DA: If Gravitar were a doll in the toy store, what kind of doll would it BE?
HAROLD: Uh....
GEOFF: Uh....
HAROLD: Hmm....
GEOFF: Well, we could refuse to answer? We could make up new questions....
HAROLD: Wouldn't it be one of those electronic dolls?
GEOFF: Like the heads you squeeze, and they go "AAAAAAIIIIHHHH!!!"?
[Laughter]
HAROLD: No, the kind with buttons on it, where you press it and it goes "Stop, or I'll shoot! Stop, or I'll shoot!" Kinda like that.
GEOFF: I don't think we'd be a doll...."Big, Big Loader"....
ERIC: "Mr. Mouth, Mr. Mouth"....
HAROLD: Remember, Eric's doing the transcribing. Maybe a superhero doll, with a big "G" on it's chest.
HAROLD: Or a Godzilla doll, that stands up on it's tail, and goes "Raar."
ERIC: Okay, anything we should add?
GEOFF: I don't think so.