RKF is the black metal jackass in charge of this ezine. When he's not making a fool of himself in public here, he makes a fool of himself in the noise / black metal band Korperschwache. He is formerly the guitarist for Autodidact and a bunch of other bands you never heard of. He is currently hiding in the bushes in Texas, waiting to pee on your leg. He also wants to pole Kate Dillon, not that this has anything to do with DEAD ANGEL.

AMANDA is an enigma enshrouded in mystery and wrapped in darkness, sort of like J. R. "Bob" Dobbs, only with bigger breasts. She lives in a shack somewhere in the woods in Canada with a tribe of barely-domesticated panthers, a cistern full of gin, and a large double-barreled shotgun. She is not interested in "getting to know you better." She does, however, accept gifts in the form of toasty socks of an unusual nature. And money. And more bottles of gin.

GAFNE ROSTOW is a bitter and dangerous escapee from the original Norwegian "Inner Circle" whose current location cannot be revealed in the interests of national security. He "rewards" those who displease him with fire, death, and dismemberment. The FBI and Interpol refuse to confirm or deny the rumor that he once responded to a passing fool who dared to mock his corpsepaint and many upside-down crosses by cutting the man's head off and posting it on a stick in his front yard. We run his reviews unedited because we are frankly fucking afraid of him. We deeply fear his great and terrible wrath.

NEDDAL AYAD is a cranky bastard from the frozen wastes of Canada who plays scorched-earth guitar for the does and knife, please. He has survived fifteen-foot snowdrifts, opening for bad metal bands, and the unfortunate explosion that levelled the Hellfortress Beneath the Ice, so you'd best not even think about getting lippy with him. He enjoys relaxing by setting mimes on fire and directing loud, profane tirades at people who piss him off, which is just about everybody.

DILLON TULK is DEAD ANGEL'S Youth of America intern, keepin' it young and keepin' it real. As in real noisy. He's baaaad, man, bad like Shaft but paler and without the sharp threads (how do you think he affords all those obscure cassettes?), so you best not test him! Fortunately, he'd rather love than fight... especially if cute girls are around. When he's not reviewing stuff you never heard of for this ezine or complicating his life, he performs in Lung Lunch, Scissortail, and other bands.

THE DEVIL KITTY is our mascot, demonic fountain of wisdom, and diabolical force of evil who protects us from the rest of the world. Fear him, or else he will heave on you. Then eat you. Then burp.
I WENT TO HELL AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS SHITTY T-SHIRT: Here's the latest issue. Plenty of extra reviews this time -- many thanks to Neddal, Dillon, Amanda, and the always-mysterious Gafne Rostow for their swell contributions. There were a few releases (mainly on Public Eyesore) that got held over until next time because this one was getting hefty; look for them in the next issue. I also have not forgotten about the horror book I've been trying to get reviewed for several issues now; I'm reading it and as soon as I finish it, a review will appear and the READING section will magically "go live" (check back around the 7th or 8th). Amazingly enough, the mailing address continues to be:

RKF
P.O. BOX 2434
AUSTIN, TX 78768
USA

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WE HAVE TO DO THIS ALL OVER AGAIN?: In other words, Happy New Year. Let's hope the coming one is considerably better than the last one. Yee.

THE ROLL CALL OF THE DEVIL KITTY STILL EXISTS: Yes, it is still possible to secure a place for all eternity in the Devil Kitty's good graces; The Roll Call of the Devil Kitty is still accepting donations. Did you know that you can buy a safe haven for your soul, and remain uneaten in the coming nightmarish apocalypse that will afterwards be known as Ragnarok, or The Great and Terrible Feast of the Heaving Devil Kitty? It's true! If you were ever inclined to demonstrate your love for DEAD ANGEL and save your eternally damned soul in the process, now would be an excellent time to do it. Note that I am still committed to running a totally ad-free site and insuring that the ezine remains completely free of charge, which means I'm not making any $$$ from this, so any financial support that comes my way through the Roll Call of the Devil Kitty is always greatly appreciated.

-- RKF 1/3/06